Why people date other marrieds?
Chat about a loaded theme that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on since old ages. Affairs can be burdened with evils, cause despair, and other problems. Also you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness matter, finances, age dissimilarity, religious background, guilt, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, discreet dating for married.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are men seeking an affair. I think mainly though it is just the human condition, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
In nature we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and exciting, and sex makes us flee the real world for a brief period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone are able to switch the longing on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos the world has erected against affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will defeat their worries and make them risk the wrath of not only their family, but the public also. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is awfully good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your family or anybody else? You would need to minimize the danger you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major grouping, gigantic actually. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they feel comfortable in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to consider. Your savings are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be jointly besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them completing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An extramarital affair occasionally solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage intact.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a common groung I fear. One or the other, frequently the gentleman is sexually neglecting his woman for a large humber of reasons. As a man I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them obtainable to us guys of romance, making them “hot milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be compassion is gone, maybe it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Could be we have simply grown distantly, our common concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is contradictory of what you want. Maybe I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.